Laura Bennett: I’m a Republican, and Jo de la Rosa’s Skin Looks Like Hell Under Those Harsh Lights

Laura, possum, you are a uniter. We find it wonderful that, whatever one’s differences of political opinion, we can all agree as a country about Jo de la Rosa’s skin. We have watched, rapt, as the Bravo cameras exposed every pebbly path of acne on her face. At times, we wondered if we weren’t watching the “before” section of a ProActiv infomercial. We think someone at Bravo secretly hates her, and is filled with self-loathing to the depths of their soul at having to work on such a show, a show that exhibits such utter contempt for its audience that, if there were any justice in the world or in America (sorry, didn’t mean to get all political again), it would make the viewers rise up and storm Bravo headquarters with pitchforks and torches and lay waste to it brick by brick.