Pink Navy Presents the Official Photo of the Matt Lorenz Drinking Game, Brought to You This Week by Bacardí Limón

Yes, We Have No Banana (and Grape), We Have No Banana (and Grape) Today

On Wednesday's episode, Jonathan Adler repeatedly took Michael Adams to task for the colors in his room, decrying the use of "banana" and "grape," apparently a serious crime in the interior design world.

But lo and behold, we had a look at the cover of the current issue of Elle Décor, and what do we see? Why, it's banana and grape. Hmmmm. We don't know what to make of it. Disagreement with Margaret Russell? Can it be? And how is it possible that kitschmeister Jonathan Adler, of all people, doesn't countenance the use of banana and grape? It's all too much to think about on a Friday.

Matt Lorenz: Tales of an American Boyhood

Like contestant Michael Adams, sometimes we don't even have to lift a finger to paint. Others do it for us. From a delightful, and not at all slyly incriminating, article in the Mankato, Minnesota, Free Press:

When Matt Lorenz was in kindergarten he decided his teacher did a pretty lousy job of decorating the classroom Christmas tree, so he got his mom to donate a new one so he could decorate it to his satisfaction.

Yes, given the evidence, one could say Lorenz was always on the path to interior design, at least since the age of 5 growing up in Comfrey and Nicollet.

...

Lorenz, who lives in Chicago with his wife and 4-year-old daughter, hasn’t seen any of the footage yet. He’ll be watching the show for the first time Jan. 31 like everybody else, he said.

“I’ll probably be in the corner of my living room crying,” he said.

Lorenz was born in Madelia and moved to Comfrey with his mom, Marilyn Pederson of Mountain Lake, when he was 3 years old. Growing up in Nicollet, he used to decorate his farmhouse to the max around Christmas time with lights and elaborate decorations that attracted 2,000 people every year. The Free Press even did a spread on the display in 1988, he said.

“Not bad for the hicks in the sticks,” he said.

“I am SO not gay, dude. Look, I said the word ‘sheetrock.’ And the word ‘dude.’ And no, that is NOT longing and whimsy in my eyes.”

So this is only their second date, and they already look and dress alike? What are they, lesbians?