Because Hard Wood Has a Soft Core

We were going to object, "This is Santa Monica Beach, not Santa Monica Boulevard!" but the protest died on our parched, trembling lips.

Beauty Queens: Jean Genet "Wham!"-sy Leaves Pink Navy Speechless, Shirtless

Speech... center... im... im... immobilized. Cannot... form... sentences.

After a good slap from Miss XaXa, however, we were almost back to ourselves. Ofttimes we fault Bravo for obviousness, but sometimes, when they present you with the cover from Lumberjackin', or Hardwood 2, or Nailed!, it's really hard to object. What's a little pandering when it leaves you hankering?

Miss XaXa's sole rhetorical question: "What's that on his right bicep?"

Our final rhetorical question: Who's going to send this picture to Ted Haggard to test his sobriety?