Shazia Kirmani Earns Brownie Points with Us by Using Words Like “Centimeter,” “Ornate” and “Rectilinear”

“Top Design” Preview (Yes, Possums, We’re Going Back to Our Roots and Covering This Season)

Salma Hayek's Brother Does an Oldham on an Ad(ler)

Simon Sez!: Jonathan Adler Fiancé Tells You How to Look Like a Fairy

N.B. Once it starts playing, it goes and goes, possums, in different little segments, with Simon telling you about neon and the 18th century and so forth. Don't say you weren't warned.

“Top Design” Breaking News: See You Later, “See You Later, Decorator”

Hallelujah, Praise the Lady Bunny, and any other religious ejaculation you can think of. In the above clip, Raggaydy Andy Cohen announces that on the upcoming season of Top Design, we will no longer be hearing Jonathan Adler say, “See you later, decorator.” What the new send-off will be remains to be seen. We’re counting on you, Simon Doonan, to save the day.

Bravo New World

Not having entirely shaken the Top Chef bug, we were a bit taken aback when we saw this photograph of former America's Next Top Model judge Simon Doonan, Top Design judge Jonathan Adler, and Top Chef guest judge (that's an awful lot of tops, isn't it?) Suzanne Goin (best known in reality tv land as the woman who confronted a "Cheeto dick" with a, er, cocked eyebrow, a dry wit, and the original dentata opening). Not shown, but also present at the same party, was Top Chef judge Tom Colicchio. It's a bit like one of Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next books, where characters from one novel can walk about willy-nilly into another novel, but in a reality tv context, of course. This has done nothing to alter our impression of Mondo Bravo as an incestuous world of telegenic folks who set 'dars aflutter with their attitude of "gaybe, gaybe not."

Welcome Aboard: Out of the Frying Pan, and Into the Biedermeier

Possums, has your pussy ever gone bad?

Oh, you know what we mean—started clawing the brocade settees, shredding the damask wall hangings, and ripping the watered-silk tabourets, all because its limited-edition Dina Lohan scratching post has been retired?

Well, then, you know exactly how we feel, now that Top Chef is coming to an end. No more of Padma Lakshmi's retina-searing fashion sense, no more glimpses of her, ahem, leetle pot belly, no more mispronunciations of “amuse-bouche” and “gelée” by all and sundry—in short, no more scratching post.

What are two scratching-post-deprived, never-declawed amuse-biatches to do? Fortunately, Bravo is following Top Chef with the launch of Top Design, a reality show competition devoted to interior design. And just like that, we fell out of the frying pan, and into the Biedermeier. Gird your loins, possums, for we have come to deplore the décor. And it's no use putting the plastic covers on the couches. Our claws can cut through anything.

‘So why Diana Vreeland as a muse on a blog dedicated to interior design?’ ask the fashionista possums in your midst. ‘After all, wasn't she a fashion editor?’

First of all, Anna Wintour be damned, Diana Vreeland wasn't a fashion editor; she was the fashion editor.

Now, Mrs. Vreeland also knew a good deal about home decoration, as we will demonstrate every Wednesday, and that alone would qualify her to be the marraine of this enterprise. But if you want to know why Diana Vreeland is the perfect person to break a bottle of Korbel fine champagne across the bow of the H.M.S. Pink Navy, you have only to take a gander at these two anecdotes recounted by Mary Louise Wilson:

“On another occasion, [Diana Vreeland] was laying out a photo spread of little silk and satin zippered evening jackets which was to be emblazoned with the words, ‘The Windbreaker,’ when she was informed at the last moment that ‘Windbreaker’ was copyrighted and not hers to use. She roared into the copy room again: ‘Quick! What’s another word for breaking wind?’”

“Yet another time she had a two-page photo of a nude sunbathing with a black straw hat on her derriere, and a caption that read: ‘Spend the summer under a Big Black Sailor.’ This issue apparently made it to the stands before it was apprehended.”

Need we say more? Possums, raise your glass of Korbel to Pink Navy and Big Black Sailors.

(By the by, no matter what Top Design judge Margaret Russell says in the previews, when your pussy goes bad, you can design the whole room around the cat.)