Carisa DeVille Too "Close" for Comfort?

As always, trusty on-ship photographer Ensign Laz has obtained the photographic evidence of what previously we had only suspected. And using his telephoto lens he found the most shocking evidence of all: Carisa obtained the white part of her coiffure after scalping Carl the Carpenter!

Coming Attractions

Fresh Off His Triumph in “300,” Goil Amornvivat to Star in Rome-Com, “Hang On There, Spartacus!”

Matt Lorenz: The French Have a Word for It

During the judges' tête-à-tête-à-tête-à-tête, we do remember Jonathan Adler saying of Matt, “He totally took on the maid role very, very enthusiastically.”

However, until we saw this photograph snapped by on-ship photographer Ensign Laz, we had no idea just how enthusiastic Matt could be.

Normally, we'd worry, but heck, if you're going to play a role, you might as well go whole hog.

"I'll get you, my pretty! And your little afghan, too!"

We kid, Jonathan, possum. There's no place like homo, there's no place like homo!

Update: We never thought this would be necessary, but perhaps it's simply a testament to how few people are watching the show and/or reading the Bravo blogs. So, anyway, possums, let us explain the joke.

On his blog this week, Jonathan Adler wrote: "Bonjour. No new episode this week, so no proper blog. But, I'm answering some of the questions that y'all have posed in response to previous blogs. I have chosen to answer the fabulous people who asked interesting questions. I have chosen to completely ignore the naughty person who said that I look just like Margaret Hamilton, the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz."

Since it so happened that it was a commenter on Pink Navy who made the original Margaret Hamilton observation, and given how little material this show gives us to work with, we thought it might be mildly amusing to put up a little quick PhotoShop job of Jonathan Adler as Margaret Hamilton in The Wizard of Oz. It's as simple as that. We hope that will clear things up.

Cuánto Le Gusta, Le Gusta, Le Gusta: The Adler in the Tutti-Frutti Hat

By Pink Navy News (PNN)
March 2, 2007 12:30 PM PST

WEST HOLLYWOOD, California – Attending last night’s event for homosexualist employees of NBC/Universal (including the company’s Bravo subsidiary), held at brick-and-mortar-shell palais des poseurs The Abbey, cool-kitsch potter Jonathan Adler gave an exclusive interview to PNN reporter Lazarus West. Dressed to the nines (as well as to the five-servings-a-day), and quaffing one of the fruity cocktails that are the specialty of this boîte for boîte-munchers, Adler issued an apology for unqualified statements made during the fourth installment of Bravo’s latest “Top”-format reality show, Top Design.

The episode aired on February 21 and contained statements likening contestant Michael Adam’s choice of colors to those of “banana” and “grape.” Designer Adams, 23, is best known for being so gay that the amniotic fluid in which he lay suspended for nine months (as he decorated the walls of his mother’s womb with tiny-finger paintings of birds) is now classified as weapons-grade by the U.S. government. Scientists warn that a few drops in the water supply would be enough to turn the city of Des Moines into a homosexualist mecca of interior designers, stylists, and couch-jumping movie stars.

Adams and his cult following of “minions” disagreed with Adler’s comments. One senior minion official, who requested anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the discussions, was seen visibly shaken, pacing while muttering to himself, “Damn you, it’s plum and light canary!”

But following recent revelations that Elle Décor includes the Adler-banned “grape” and “banana” colors on its cover, and in the wake of incidents involving plastic grapes and bananas being thrown at him, Adler realized that he had made a mistake. He now declares himself “a friend to all fruits.”

She-Bangs: The Hollywood Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Oldham

As Ensign Laz pointed out, it's uncanny. Todd Oldham and Fräulein Maria have the same bangs.

Ryan, er, Marta, pink's OUR favorite color, too!

Pink Navy Correction

We ought to have known better, of course, but even we (yes, it's true) make mistakes on occasion. Last week, trying to demonstrate that Margaret Russell holds her own when it comes to magazine-posing audacity, we brought you the results of Ensign Laz's archival research into her photo shoot with Horst's last studio assistant. We declared the shoot had been for Cat Fancy Magazine. Of course, we were wrong. As you can see from the cover Ensign Laz sent us, it was actually Fancy Cat Magazine. But of course, or, as Miss XaXa put it, "Like, duh, right?" Pink Navy regrets the error and extends its apologies to Ms. Russell for the confusion.

Pink Navy Exclusive! Margaret Russell's Shocking Betty Grable Past

Possums, if you thought Kelly Wearstler was the only Top Design judge whose past includes a stint in the Cheesecake Factory, you're in for a bit of a surprise.

As so many of you have seen for yourselves over the past week, Kelly has no compunction about unveiling her cabana and showing us that, regardless of where it's actually located, the one place it's not located is Brazil, if you catch our waxy drift.

The more patrician Margaret is another story entirely. But our indefatigable on-ship photographer and archivist Laz dove headlong into the archives of Cat Fancy to see if he could track down the early 90s Margaret Russell cheesecake shoot presided over by Horst's last studio assistant.

Laz emerged covered in enough cat hair to stuff a few verboten pillows, but also with a few photographs from the fabled shoot, which Pink Navy is publishing for the first time ever.

Given the testimony of flaming, fauxhawked Bravo "stylist" Paris about Margaret's Ra-like affinity for the sun's rays, it should come as no surprise that she sports an extraordinary tan that subtly goes against her entire brunette Lana Turner image.

The very Italian Miss XaXa whispers to us that a real WASP would never tan so well, and suspects that there might be...Italian blood in the family. We cross ourselves at the very notion. Come mai! Our Margaret Russell cannot be Margherita Rossellini. Cannot compute.

Instead, let us turn to the stats listed in the accompanying and unpublished Cat Fancy article:

BIRTHPLACE: Somewhere more fabulous than you can imagine, even more fabulous than St. Tropez. Something on the order of a Botticelli seashell inside Zeus' head.
BUST: A lady never discusses her bazooms. Only her dressmaker, Narciso Rodriguez, knows for sure.
WAIST: She's WASP-waisted.
HIPS: None visible.
HEIGHT: Larger than life.
WEIGHT: The weightiest thing about her is her opinion.
AMBITIONS: To rule the world. Sorry, Nina. You can be assistant World Ruler.
TURN-ONS: Pirates, theme rooms, gauzy curtains, country clubs, the color blue.
TURN-OFFS: Pillows, theme rooms, burger shacks, the color green, uppity artists, nudist neo-courtesans who try to upstage their betters.
ROMANCING MY MAN: As that Duchess in Proust says, "I never discuss love, but I make it often."
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF: Being fabulous.

Pink Navy Product Watch: Ke-Ke-Ke-Kelly

Courtesy of Ensign Laz.

Pink Navy Weekend Movie Recommendation

Courtesy of Ensign Laz.

"It's Been Great Stuffing with You": An Architect, a Scientologist and a Homosexual Walk into a Cabana

It does sound like the set-up for a joke, but what do you know? The team of two non-bespectacled Wonder Twins and their younger (ga)Y-chromosome, in an Annie Leibovitz-worthy group portrait taken by our on-ship photographer Laz during their girls' weekend at the Viceroy (make that Vicereine!) Hotel, brought home the win. Congratulations to you, girls!