Friday, March 2, 2007

Cuánto Le Gusta, Le Gusta, Le Gusta: The Adler in the Tutti-Frutti Hat

By Pink Navy News (PNN)
March 2, 2007 12:30 PM PST

WEST HOLLYWOOD, California – Attending last night’s event for homosexualist employees of NBC/Universal (including the company’s Bravo subsidiary), held at brick-and-mortar-shell palais des poseurs The Abbey, cool-kitsch potter Jonathan Adler gave an exclusive interview to PNN reporter Lazarus West. Dressed to the nines (as well as to the five-servings-a-day), and quaffing one of the fruity cocktails that are the specialty of this boîte for boîte-munchers, Adler issued an apology for unqualified statements made during the fourth installment of Bravo’s latest “Top”-format reality show, Top Design.

The episode aired on February 21 and contained statements likening contestant Michael Adam’s choice of colors to those of “banana” and “grape.” Designer Adams, 23, is best known for being so gay that the amniotic fluid in which he lay suspended for nine months (as he decorated the walls of his mother’s womb with tiny-finger paintings of birds) is now classified as weapons-grade by the U.S. government. Scientists warn that a few drops in the water supply would be enough to turn the city of Des Moines into a homosexualist mecca of interior designers, stylists, and couch-jumping movie stars.

Adams and his cult following of “minions” disagreed with Adler’s comments. One senior minion official, who requested anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the discussions, was seen visibly shaken, pacing while muttering to himself, “Damn you, it’s plum and light canary!”

But following recent revelations that Elle Décor includes the Adler-banned “grape” and “banana” colors on its cover, and in the wake of incidents involving plastic grapes and bananas being thrown at him, Adler realized that he had made a mistake. He now declares himself “a friend to all fruits.”