“Why Don't You?” Wednesdays

Alright, so it's Thursday, not Wednesday, but cut us a little slack, as things have been hotting up over at Amuse-Biatch, and not just in Padma Lakshmi's dressing room.

This is the first installment of a weekly feature bringing you the best of Diana Vreeland's home decorating and lifestyle tips from her 1936-1938 “Why Don't You?” columns in Harper's Bazaar, all of which, we hasten to add, we have implemented here at Withering Depths.

And so, without further ado, Why don’t you…

* go to Dazian, the theatrical material shop, and get fake leopard skin for your bathroom floor and fake beige fur for your slipper chair?

* start a topiary garden of box or yew, and clip the bushes into peacocks and poodles? They stay green all winter and, brought inside in tubs, look lovely in a formal hall.

* have Vertès of Paris paint you the gayest possible fire screen?

* have a private staircase from your bedroom to the library with needlework carpet with notes of music worked on each step—the whole spelling your favorite tune?

* in your drawing room have a mirror table like Miss Constance Collier’s, with a diamond pencil so that your guests can sign their names in the glass?

* find a miniature Georgian chafing dish? Dip it in gold and use it beside your bed for cigarettes.